That liberary again ,

this smallwindow it's view I photographed maybe before , and no I did not forget Alison , she did forget me is my impression , seeing not that fact , I am loosing my trust in her , and not in that second thing , my country love's me I know , and also those responsable that I want to leave it are not held responsable for it , mostly the reson why I like to leave this whole world understands that , so also not Alison setting it back again , do you love somebody in real when you get loveletters for almost a year , and may start to write finaly for ten day's because those letters will pass , and then you don't write , then it is more to say that you do not love that person you kept on a wire that long and use this person for other resons then love , everyone wouldt feel the same way after nearly two years and so many chance's , that it has more to do with her career and trying to look more positive then you are , doubting on this point is to painfull and what shouldt be long gone now like a letter to me also , people invest in this to make me elegable on my own and she still pulls her nose up as if I am someone missing a point , and no I will not get back to watch television , to get disillusional again with a "Here is Alison Kosik." , and she going "I am sure as hell still entised with you." , with after that June last year so many understandings we did overcome she starts the last one now to my concern and getting back to the idea I get to stay here unfourntunatly with those asshole's she is ashamed off , and those filthy asshole's from Club Cheescunt , and better thank her for nothing again till so far , give thanks for everyone who tried what we thought was best , not this , this waste of time again , and things to look at I better empty off with those short but beautiful then new memories as in good humanexpectations she denies everyone I thank not as a cynical also .