better do forget Alison , because every excuse I hear of to not write me I call a small mean on , and go forget about that idea of me being a father in real , and yes again have a terrible birthday with realy not those results as expected in trade doing the right thing , not being into violence against people that enjoy differently , or being busy with being less jumpy and cheery with humour and satire , maybe all the things I gave up I better start again , to get those laughing at me run out of ammonition against me that I did that to late , but still I refuse to believe that I did wrong in this , then only people did not deserved it to see it 'all' go for Alison , and my country deserves it to be written in Dutch again what I publicate on weblog , and to be more supportive again with 'unallowed' things in America why Dutch call some things also hypocrite like us double Dutch , that is what personaly also happens to me that "Are you an idiote or what !?" , a full year blown away again on fullfilling on expectations I better not made this way , and have to slowly on the 'betrayal' I made on those Dutch wich did not betray me , and wanted me more busy in Dutch as a Dutch and not forget that there are some beautiful pretty Dutch girls still wanting my dreams to come true without no answering confusion as Alison is bringing this way screwing my birthday , like all the others did before .
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