Realy America ,

I know it wouldt be my biggest dream to leave the Netherlands , as much from the Netherlands wished it to be for me to leave on realy such fair grounds , today was not only a discusion about Alison and what couldt be wrong , but Pete looks more on the side of allowing it , then go against it , while I said talking to your self is supportive and only helpfull when you don't start to talk to you in the third degree , that you don't put a you on the I where it shouldt be , and talking to your self is better then drugs or anything else on your own , when it is not being used against you , realy how much people only with being caught on that by someone that love's that one , and explains it as normal stay ashamed still , so why the Dutch psychiatrist do not support me on this one I do not know , with their proffesionalsecrets like priests and cops , BUT to get not to fast shutt off from my beautiful expectations and educational moments as in reading American news also , yes I still do , gave response , other than some 'complete' article as some look like on my weblog , but give a comment now and then on Yahoo.com after Yahoo international and then U.S.A. , but I have to , sad as it is and feels , go back to fully only Dutch I know , also for my reading and news .